Marriage is a beautiful thing and love is sweet when it’s with the right person. We all at one time or another hope to be married to the love of our lives and live happily ever after, but beyond the emotional exercises and cupid feelings, there are so much more than just finding the right person, sometimes it might not even work out with the person you think is right for you, that is why you have to be extremely sensitive about all the signs at your disposal, including every action of your supposed future partner. Some of these things to note before you say ‘I do’ to the man whose touch melts your heart, and to the lady whose presence takes away every iota of your worry are but not limited to the following;
Money – money is an essential factor in marriage, so before a lady and a man decides to take their love relationship to the next level, they both need to be financially secured in the sense that, they both must have a stable source of income. There are so many responsibilities that come with a marital union such as food, clothing, shelter, education etc. As simple as it seem, it can destroy homes when it’s not available or not enough to cater for the needs of the family, so money has to be considered before two people decide to be united in marriage. Although, it’s not always going to be about getting extremely buoyant(but also good if you have it in great proportion) it must be able to take care of an above average of the responsibilities of the family.
Skills- There are some skills both a man and lady need be equipped with in order to avoid some little misunderstandings in marriage. For a lady, you need to know some responsibilities peculiar to a wife like cooking, taking care of her husband, children and the home in general. The men are also not left out from learning the art of assisting with house chores once a while and be ready for financial responsibility. These and more are skills that needs to be worked on because it may be difficult to adjust to things you haven’t been used to before marriage in marriage.
Friendship – Intending couples must note that friendship between them in marriage is as important as the food is to life. Couples who are friends have a tendency of lasting in marriage, love is just a feeling and most times is being driven by an act or what is seen, some even mistake infatuation for love which doesn’t last. But friendship is what keeps the bond durable. When couple see one another as friends, they see and act beyond the butterfly feelings they get, they work, plan, pray,share and play together. When the children have gone to start a family of their own, when couple have retired from service, when their grey hair is beyond obvious, when sexual intercourse no longer fantasies sex and they only have each other’s company…friendship is what will keeps them together.
No third party – for those who don’t hide anything from mummy or daddy, or even anyone, you need to note that the involvement of a third party may be detrimental to the success of your marriage. Couple must learn to be independent of the involvement of a third party, you and your spouse are one in marriage and you both only have to agree on things. Third parties are not healthy, marriage is a union between two people who choose to be together forever so whatsoever you both decide, agree or disagree on, chose, plan or encounter must stay between the two of you, except if any of such actions is life threatening to one of you or the marriage then you should seek counsel from a third party, most of the time from professionals.
Compatibility – As a man, you won’t want to go to the movies alone because your wife enjoys seeing movies in the house or always eat out because your wife doesn’t like cooking. As a lady, you won’t love to be bored all the time because your husband is an introvert, doesn’t like talking and is always moody. Hence, the need to take note of the areas where you and who you want to marry have things in common. You both don’t have to agree on all things, but you should in most cases, and even the areas where you aren’t compatible you are meant to complete each other in those areas and not disagree on them. Know your partner, weight your differences and similarities, it is key to also ensure your differences are areas you can live with.
You can’t know it all about your spouse ->no matter the number of years invested into dating and courting, no one can know it all about their spouse. This isn’t about pretence or lieing, it’s just a natural phenomena. Most of the times, situation warrants actions so there are some behaviors and habits that may not evolve early in relationships, at times people don’t intend to hide them but occurrences that will warrant it haven’t just surfaced, though there are some cases where people intentionally hide some behaviors or characters too that’s why you got to be ready to find out some things you didn’t know initially. This applies to one’s self as well, your spouse will sure find out other things about you than they have known, no matter how beat you try to be open.
Prayer – often times, I see people becoming more spiritual when married than when they were singles. I believe they now understand the efficacy of prayers and that prayer is a tool beyond the physical efforts they can put into a marriage to work. Single people need to note before that prayer are important in marriage and that praying together is one of the ways to keep together as a family. There’s a quote that goes ” a family that prays together stays together “, and when a couple puts God first, God listens to whatsoever they ask from him in agreement because marriage is instituted by God, take note!
Religion – Take note of the issue of religion before you get married, religion is part of our lives and cannot be easily waved aside, so intending couple must be sure they have same spiritual goal, and same spiritual beliefs. Some people believe this isn’t too much of an issue but when asked from those Who have had to divorce on this ground, it then becomes obvious what impact it has on marriage, some couple may be cool until the kids starts coming and each parent want their child to practice his/her religion. While some would only have to deal with parents who do not want to give in to accepting their child marrying outside their religion and most times when this kind of marriage where one or both of the couple’s parents are not supportive on religion grounds is forced there may later be issues In such marriage, so it’s wise to take note on this.
Forgiveness – This is key and it’s importance must really be taken note of before getting married. Issues will definitely happen and misunderstandings are inevitable in every relationship, marriage not excepted, so both guys and ladies must be willing to always forgive. Forgiveness is just a must have in marriage because some people’s cases may be beyond misunderstand, and it will only take a spouse with a forgiving spirit or power to let go to stand the test of time in marriage. There are so many instances where forgiveness will be the only tool to help move on in marriage.
An end has to come to being self-centered- take note of the fact that you’d have an other half which makes you whole and without which you are incomplete. In marriage, you’d have a lot of time to make sacrifices for your husband / wife and children, you would have to be concerned about their well-being, you would a lot to put into consideration before taking a decision or thinking of your own satisfaction. The usage of ‘I’ tends to change to ‘my husband, my wife, my children’ or ‘ we ‘, be prepared to do away from being self centered before getting married.