side chicWe all want a relationship that is pure, peaceful and doesn’t have any troubles, but sometimes we don’t get what we wish for and end up in situations that we can’t control. Be it men or women, some people find themselves in relationships that are toxic and sometimes it gets abusive.

Some people don’t know what to do in situations like this, they are concerned with what would people think and what would happen after they leave the relationship. Sometimes it isn’t any of the above they are sincerely confused on how to leave the relationship as they have been in it for a very long time.

Below are tips on how to exit an abusive relationship.

  1. TALK TO SOMEONE, BE IT A FAMILY OR A FRIEND: Sometimes the first step in getting free from an abusive relationship is talking to someone who would understand you and be able to give you sound advice. This person would help you understand the risks of your situation and why you must leave that relationship and will help find means of how you will survive when you leave.
  2. HAVE A PLAN: You cannot just wake up and leave your relationship, in case your abusive partner is still around and would catch you leaving which might prove dangerous, you need to have a plan. Plan your exit strategy, what you would do when you leave the relationship, where you would live and how you would keep yourself safe in case your partner wants to come and harm you. These plans will set you in the right direction and would continuously motivate you to seek help.
  3. HAVE PROOF OF ABUSE: in the world we find ourselves in today, your words aren’t enough proof that you are being abused, make sure you have proof. After the abuse occurs, it is recommended you take photos or record the activity, and while doing this, you do it discreetly so that the partner in question would not find out that you are documenting the process. Make sure when you do this, you keep the proof in a very safe place, so you can get it when you need it.
  4. SAVE ENOUGH MONEY THAT CAN SUSTAIN YOU FOR A WHILE: Put money away, sometimes your abuser can have monetary power over you, so it is better to save as much as you can, so when you finally leave you have something you can live on till you are settled properly.
  5. PACK: Pack a few items, the things that are important and very easy to carry, something that you can hide and your partner wouldn’t find. Be careful when parking because if you pack too much, your partner might notice and find out that you are leaving the relationship, which could escalate into something else and can even prove fatal.
  6. LEAVE THE RELATIONSHIP: after all things above have been put in place, it’s time to leave the relationship. For some people after they have done all that has been listed, they are scared or start blaming themselves for things not working out and decide to stay. But the truth is the abuser won’t stop, you have to leave and never look back.
  7. TAKE LEGAL ACTIONS: Some abusers would never let you be, they have the notion in their heads that you are theirs and theirs alone. Some abusers would make sure they find you even if you live under the radar, the best thing to do and make sure you are safe is take legal actions. Make sure you go to the police or any law authority and get a restraining order against them so you can move on with your life and get a fresh start.

Most of the time abusers tend to try to emotionally blackmail their partners, they come bearing gifts and apologize for their behaviors and if they see that you aren’t budging, they try to make you feel guilty.

Do not listen and know that whatever form of abuse you went through wasn’t your fault. And because you have left and scaled through, see that there is light at the end of the tunnel and that not all human beings are abusers.



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