1. “I don’t mind you looking at other girls,”
Guys, don’t be silly. Of course she minds! She does not need to hear about how hot that girl is from the hunger games – unless you never want to get laid again, then yeah, sure, go on, say it. I dare you. Here’s an advice; when hanging out with your girl, don’t discuss about how hot other girls are because your girl will turn into a super saiyan – and that’s not good.
2. “I promise I won’t get mad,”
Girls usually tell this lie after they ask for your ‘honest’ opinion.
Girl: Do these pants make my butt look fat?
Girl: No, tell me what you really think. I promise I won’t get mad.
Boy: Okay… Yes.
Girl: (Gasps) Jerk!
See? Won’t get mad my ass!
3. “I don’t care that you don’t post about me on Facebook,”
Are you kidding me? This is what she’s really thinking:
“Why hasn’t he updated his relationship status? Is he ashamed of dating me? Oh my gosh… He hates me! Seriously, what the f***! It’s been 15 minutes since I sent him the relationship request. And why the hell isn’t there a photo of me on his timeline?”
4. “I love everything about you,”
Yeah, right! So, she loves the way you smell after a football game? Or the way you throw your dirty socks on the floor? Maybe she just loves it when you burp in her face… Then fart.
5. “I don’t care how much money you make,”
Which girl doesn’t love her bling?
(Boy kneels down on one leg and pulls out a small box. His girlfriend is excited)
Boy: Honey, will you marry me?
Girl: (squeals) Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh, I can’t believe – oh wait, that’s not a diamond ring…
Boy: This is the only ring I can afford right now!
Girl: (taken aback) B-but that’s an
6. “I forgive you,”
You must have really screwed up to hear this from your girl. Just don’t make a havoc of it ‘cos when she says she forgives you… She hasn’t. She just stored it away in her volcano of things to Dam about when it’s that time of the month again. Good luck!
7. “I don’t mind if your friends come over,”
Which girl, in her right mind, would willingly give up a perfectly good sofa to drunk, smelly guys yelling at the sports on tv?
8. “I’m just not ready for a boyfriend right now,”
Guys, I’m sorry, but if you hear this -it’s ova! (over)
This lie, or something similar like, “I don’t have time for a relationship right now,” or “I’m still not over my ex,” or “I’m too busy with work,” is her way of dumping you as nicely as she can. So, be a gentleman and let her go because what she’s really saying is, “I don’t like you anymore. You smell. Stop calling me.”
9. “It wasn’t that expensive,”
Your girl comes home. With a new handbag. Made out of diamonds. You ask her how much it cost, and of course she says, “It wasn’t that expensive…”
Well, just know that you won’t have any money to buy food for the next month because she’s just maxed out her credit card… And yours as well.
Exciting times ahead, huh.
10. “Looks don’t matter to me,”
Now that is the biggest lie of girly bullcrap in the history of the universe. In fact, even if all the bulls got together and pooped at the same time, there still wouldn’t be as much crap as the girly bullpoop lie… (What the f***?)